Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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