Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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