she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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