you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
