So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
