tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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