so that wasnt chicken after all
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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