I accidentally burped into my bong.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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