Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
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They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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