I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
