it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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