She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
