ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
