My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize