Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
