i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
