thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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