It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
