so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
two words: eviction party
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
