OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
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Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
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Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair