I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.