hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction