Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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