We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
