Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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