Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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