What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
