How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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