I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
