Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
