it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So vagazzling was a success
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
