Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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