There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize