i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
