I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Damn victory sex feels great
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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