he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
