4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
