She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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