Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
