I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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