Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
