watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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