i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize