Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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