Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
