question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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