Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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