I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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