Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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