Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
