i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
