"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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