Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My pussy is not your playground.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
