my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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