I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
