just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
