fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
