She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
