I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
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