Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize