the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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