So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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