New low: just hacked my moms facebook
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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